The “Friendzone”

The World's Ways

I’m just going to get straight down to it. I absolutely object to the term “friendzone”. I was aware what the definition of the term was before I decided to look it up on the site Urban Dictionary. A term used when a woman does not like a man “that way” and the man ends up in an obscure and sinuous place feeling lost and helpless. I know the UD is not reliable and/or accurate but I was still repulsed that almost every definition (over 20), implied that it’s a place where men slip into when they realise their romantic advancements on a girl have utterly failed when he finds out she is not interested in him, and therefore, that girl is a “friendzoning” bitch.

Even if this bullshit thing did exist, why must the men be put into the friendzone? Why is it always the girl that’s the culprit?…

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Holy Shit

Holy shit you guys. I believe, there is an office scandal happening at my job. I think there is a love affair going on between two fellow employees who shall remain totally nameless until they are SPRUNG! Just kidding, they shall remain nameless, mainly for the fact that I do not want to get in trouble either.

The day before yesterday, a 30-something year old male colleague of mine received a small bunch of flowers with a short little note that contained the word “sexy” and was signed by “secret admirer”. He kept it no secret, he actually called his wife and it turns out she didn’t order them for him. What my fellow partners in crime found out was that they were ordered from a flower shop just up the road from the office. There also happens to be a pretty little thing in the office that wanders around the joint like god himself placed her down on this checkerboard he calls earth. She also isn’t happy unless she is bossing someone around, did I also add the sound of her laugh you can hear from a mile away, it actually once got mistaken for a stampede. And she has a voice that could cut through glass. It is also clear that this pretty little thing has a crush on the 30-something year old male colleague of mine. We all know suspect that she was the one who sent the flowers to him. She was trying to play it off throughout the afternoon. I had to contain myself by wearing a Mexican sombrero over my face for the rest of the day.

Ima keep you all updated on this matter as much as I’m going to keep myself updated. I’ll be watching very closely.

I will.

Spy-Girl-Is-Watching-Your-Every-Move-Gif

My daily routine.

Step 1: Wake up to the alarm set on my iPhone for 7:30am. Most recent alarms songs are:

Sleepless – Flume

Passenger – Deftones

It’s a War – Dukes of Windsor

Latch ­- Disclosure

Hermitude – Hyper Paradise

alarm

Step 2: Whine

step2

Step 3: Crawl out of bed and turn on the heater as I am freezing no matter how much I am wearing or how warm it is outside. I am freezing. Turn that heater ON.

step3

Step 4: Sit in front of the heater contemplating what to wear.

step4

Step 5: Decide I have NOTHING to wear.

step5

Step 6: Put on some clothes I have found to wear

step6

Step 7: Walk downstairs and eat my daily dose of Weetbix. Breakfast – most important meal of the day

step7

Step 8: Go back upstairs and get all my shit ready

step9

Step 9: LEAVE THE HOUSE

step8

 

 

 

 

My LookBook OBSESSION

Okay I am quite certain that my obsession with lookbook.nu  is becoming just as unhealthy as cigarettes. Whenever I have spare time I will find myself subconsciously scrolling down the homepage of LookBook just reeling with jealousy at all the girls and their heavenly clothes (and sometimes hairstyles). For those of you who do not know what this website is, it is simply a place for fashion inspiration from normal people all over the world. They come from Sweden, Canada, Australia, Athens, Brazil, EVERYWHERE! The outfits I find on this website are incredible, how these girls make themselves look so damn good is beyond me. I just don’t know how they do it …

magic

 

Not only does LookBook inspire fashion ideas, I think it can inspire people to become confident, bold, coveted, different and maybe that is why I dyed part of my hair purple today…anyway. I have the confidence to wear what some of these gorgeous people do, but what’s stopping me is that I am not quite skinny enough (eek!), my skin is too fair (and let’s be honest, fair skin doesn’t look the best with EVERYTHING like dark skin does) and of course…I don’t have the moolah $$$$.

 

My favourite “Lookbooker” (I think I just made that up) is Lua.P. She’s the one with smoking hot red hair and she’s from NYC. I can’t get enough of that girls wardrobe. Gimme gimme gimme!!!

I want to share some of my favourite LookBook outfits with you. Enjoy…

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Please girls give me your bodies and your clothes.

 

My Dream

If someone was asked “what kind of house do you want to live in?” then it would make perfect sense for someone to say “a mansion” or “a big house”. I mean, what joy isn’t there in that? You see celebrity houses and you think dear god I would love to live in a place like that! Pools, maids, red velvet staircases, 5 car spots etc what isn’t to love about that? But for some unknown reason, I have found myself to be quite different…I’m not sure why, but my dream home is a small, one or two room studio/apartment that’s relatively small. Just a place that I can feel cosy and comfortable with. I don’t care if my bed is next to my kitchen bed. I don’t care if I have a washing machine across the room from my TV. Maybe the fact that I can decorate it and make it look fabulous excites me…who knows. These pictures I have found on Tumblr have inspired me big time and make me want a studio even more.

studio1 MC513

studio3 studio4

 Is there anyone else out there like me?

Annoying Facebook

I’m sorry, but in my opinion Facebook has just become a playground for the socially oblivious.

NO, I would not like to play Farmville. That’s why I haven’t accepted your last 50 invites you fucking genius.

Hey, I think the last time I spoke to you was 8 years ago at school (and that was by accident), but sure, I would LOVE to come to your party Melanie Dipshit.

X Status: Can’t believe I’m feeling like this 😦

Y Comment: Like what babe?

X Comment: Don’t worry 😦

ME: WHY?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS.

To me this just screams “I am actually fine, just an attention seeking whore.”

Facebook is just one big hot mess. Sometimes I feel as though am bipolar just reading through the statuses. One says “I got into med school!” another says  “I hate my life” and another is just a quote from Einstein, Buddha or my favourite, Marilyn Monroe (everyone likes curves ooo!). I have found that over the past god knows how many years I have WASTED on Facebook I have come to realise that I have never read a status update that has been helpful or done something positive for me. The insensitive posts are the ones that make my eyes bleed. Someone is going on a trip, someone has just received a college acceptance letter, someone has just got a promotion, someone just wants to make it clear that their life is better than the living scum around them. We must be jealous and envious of them and we WISH we had their life and we WISH we were just THEM! When actually, your hair is the colour of shit. Fuck you.

But now creeps in the undercover brag…”Just got whistled at twice and saw someone checking out my ass. God I hate men” AKA “Here’s proof that I’m super sexy”. Okay Jenny Wenny, you just sail by in your ship of Super Sexy and we’ll just float here in our sea of Fuck Ugly.

And these people don’t just want to reach out to their close friends, they want to expand their audience to the people they met 4 years ago and haven’t spoken to since, that their life is brill brill.

I don’t care if you graduated, I don’t care if you’re going to NYC on the 28th, I don’t care if your boyfriend treats you like a princess, I don’t care if you’re the editor of Playboy Magazine. Oh, and an ultrasound photo of your unborn child is not what your face looks like. Please don’t set it as your profile picture.

bleeding eyes

Before you all tell me to stfu and just defriend all these annoying people, relax, I deleted my FB many, many months ago due to these reasons.

Is it fair to say that I hate Facebook?

My Fav Songs of the NINETIES


…That I could still listen to on repeat. What? Shut up.

 

 

 

So Real – Mandy Moore

Tubthumper – Chumbawamba

Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) – The Offspring

Genie in a Bottle – Christina Aguilera 

I Want it That Way – Backstreet Boys

All Star – Smash Mouth

Crush on You – Aaron Carter

Mmbop – Hanson

All The Small Things  – Blink 182

Livin La Via Loca  – Ricky Martin

Candy – Mandy Moore

Barbie Girl – Aqua

No Scrubs – TLC

Waterfalls – TLC

C’est La Vie – B*Witched

Spice Up Your Life – The Spice Girls

S Club Party – S Club 7

When the Lights Go Out – 5ive” (Five)