My daily routine.

Step 1: Wake up to the alarm set on my iPhone for 7:30am. Most recent alarms songs are:

Sleepless – Flume

Passenger – Deftones

It’s a War – Dukes of Windsor

Latch ­- Disclosure

Hermitude – Hyper Paradise

alarm

Step 2: Whine

step2

Step 3: Crawl out of bed and turn on the heater as I am freezing no matter how much I am wearing or how warm it is outside. I am freezing. Turn that heater ON.

step3

Step 4: Sit in front of the heater contemplating what to wear.

step4

Step 5: Decide I have NOTHING to wear.

step5

Step 6: Put on some clothes I have found to wear

step6

Step 7: Walk downstairs and eat my daily dose of Weetbix. Breakfast – most important meal of the day

step7

Step 8: Go back upstairs and get all my shit ready

step9

Step 9: LEAVE THE HOUSE

step8

 

 

 

 

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My LookBook OBSESSION

Okay I am quite certain that my obsession with lookbook.nu  is becoming just as unhealthy as cigarettes. Whenever I have spare time I will find myself subconsciously scrolling down the homepage of LookBook just reeling with jealousy at all the girls and their heavenly clothes (and sometimes hairstyles). For those of you who do not know what this website is, it is simply a place for fashion inspiration from normal people all over the world. They come from Sweden, Canada, Australia, Athens, Brazil, EVERYWHERE! The outfits I find on this website are incredible, how these girls make themselves look so damn good is beyond me. I just don’t know how they do it …

magic

 

Not only does LookBook inspire fashion ideas, I think it can inspire people to become confident, bold, coveted, different and maybe that is why I dyed part of my hair purple today…anyway. I have the confidence to wear what some of these gorgeous people do, but what’s stopping me is that I am not quite skinny enough (eek!), my skin is too fair (and let’s be honest, fair skin doesn’t look the best with EVERYTHING like dark skin does) and of course…I don’t have the moolah $$$$.

 

My favourite “Lookbooker” (I think I just made that up) is Lua.P. She’s the one with smoking hot red hair and she’s from NYC. I can’t get enough of that girls wardrobe. Gimme gimme gimme!!!

I want to share some of my favourite LookBook outfits with you. Enjoy…

Screen Shot 2014-06-29 at 9.37.31 PM Screen Shot 2014-06-29 at 9.37.01 PM Screen Shot 2014-06-29 at 9.35.50 PM Screen Shot 2014-06-29 at 9.35.16 PM Screen Shot 2014-06-29 at 9.33.38 PM Screen Shot 2014-06-29 at 9.33.30 PM Screen Shot 2014-06-29 at 9.29.27 PM Screen Shot 2014-06-29 at 9.29.10 PM Screen Shot 2014-06-29 at 9.25.46 PM Screen Shot 2014-06-29 at 9.22.14 PM Screen Shot 2014-06-29 at 9.20.17 PM Screen Shot 2014-06-29 at 9.18.44 PM 3860445_look1large

Please girls give me your bodies and your clothes.

 

How to be a Kardashian

So, we all know that our number 1 goal in life is to be exactly like a Kardashian. If your name starts with a K, then you’re half way there. Since the Kardashian’s are Post-2010 version of the Hilton sisters, +1, and are pretty much taking over our Foxtel/Cable channels, we may as well hop on that bandwagon just like everybody else. Let’s go with Kim today. What is one thing that Kim Kardashian is famous for? Her long black hair. If you don’t have long black hair then you should dye it. Now that you’ve done that, there really is no turning back. If your hair is short you can get extensions. Personally, I believe that hair extensions are ludicrously expensive, if you agree, you can just rip one of your sister’s fake ass weaves out of their head.

Let’s move on to makeup. The Kardashian’s have a strict rule of working with black and really, really dark gray. Just pack that shit on your eyelids until you feel that they are beginning to weigh as much as your purse. But be careful, stop when you feel as though you are starting to look like a whore. Also, contour your cheekbones and nose as much as you can so you look like you have a pyramid sticking out of your face. Perfect.

Now the makeup is down pat, literally, it is time to sit back and relax your face. Do this as much as possible, you want to go for the ass numbingly dull look. If you are talking to someone, look them straight in the eye, into their soul and blink very slowly. If you have to contribute to the conversation, just think of the line “oh baby, baby” that Britney Spears croaks out in her song “Hit Me Baby One More Time” and add that sort of low, vocal croak occasionally into your sentence. If you want to sound slightly intelligent, use words with more than 2 syllables like “dilettante”, “euphemism” or “narcissist”. If someone asks you what they mean, don’t panic, they already think you’re an idiot so do something that will dart their attention, like talking about your purse.

If your mama didn’t bless you with a big, sexy booty, don’t worry. You can roll up some towels and stuff them down your tight pants that accentuate your “butt” as much as they possibly can.

Remember, to be Kim, you really have to go that extra mile. Make yourself believe that everyone wants to be you and everyone wants to date you and that your show gets more viewers than Game of Thrones.

Dumb Teenage Girl Trends

Instagramming Every Meal

insta

“I totes got a strawberry smoothie in a glass jar. Better Gram that shit!” Then it is followed by a series of comments from fellow teen girls saying how jealous they are and how amazing the food/drink looks. The next photo I am going to take will be a half eaten bowl of soggy Weetbix #nofilter

IDIOT RANKING: Get over it

Crop Tops

olsen

To me, this just screams “LOOK AT ME. My stomach is toned and tanned and I am better than every other girl I walk past and I don’t know how stupid I look”

IDIOT RANKING: Slut but not really

Pocket Shorts

confused

You know, the short denim ripped shorts that have the insides of the pockets hanging out the bottom? It’d bad enough that we can almost see your ass and hoo-haa, now we get to see that daggy symbol of “I actually WANT you to see my ass and hoo-haa”

IDIOT RANKING: Ludicrous

Selfies

outta ma face

Selfies are self-taken photographs where you can usually see the person’s arm holding the camera. The photo is either accompanied with weird pursy lips or eyes looking in a direction other than the camera lens followed up by social media posting.

IDIOT RANKING: Plea for complementary attention because you have low self esteem

TURN UP

turnup

A dumb fucking word that mature people like to refer to as “having fun”. It can be used as a verb, noun and/or adjective.

IDIOT RANKING: Really?

 

 

Things to do in Sydney

ummmmI’m just joking!!

In my opinion, there are things to do in Sydney, however they are not the most exciting. If I were a tourist I don’t think I would come out of it and say “that was absolutely breathtaking”. It would be more of a “yeah, was good” kind of reaction. But that’s just me. If I were a celebrity I would be forced to say “Sydney was just AMAZING” otherwise I would get publicly slammed for my mediocre comment. I can just imagine the headlines already “Annie, gigantic bitch for not liking Sydney enough!”

Circular Quay

The top place to visit is CQ in Sydney, down at the Harbour (at night it is prettier). It is the bustling place of Sydney, and the most touristy so don’t forget to say hi to your fellow tourists. Ferries depart from CQ to take you to all kinds of places like Taronga Zoo & Bondi Beach. Boats also depart for Whale Watching and exciting Jet Boating!

Botanic Gardens

Beautiful gardens that are framed by Sydney Darling Harbour views. Best to go there on a beautiful sunny day (sunny days aren’t hard to find in Australia!) so you can enjoy a lovely peaceful picnic, free guided tour or a train scenic tour

The Rocks

The Rocks I would say is probably one of the ore funky places in Sydney. Lots of wonderful art galleries, dance theatres, cute cafes, police station (so be careful, but don’t worry, they won’t sentence you to death for smoking some pot) and fun shopping markets.

The Star

It used to be called Star City, but now it is changed to The Star, but people still call it Star City because we are too lazy to adapt to new changes. This is your hot spot for losing all your money…that’s about it. On the more positive side, it’s a real fayancy place and you can still have a lot of fun in there!

Newtown Shops

Newtown is a suburb in Sydney that is famous for its funky people with multicoloured hair and bright pink Doc Martens. Newtown Shops is home to offbeat designer outfits, out of date cameras, quirky vintage dresses, Persian rugs and shitloads of Thai restaurants. Go here and you’re bound to find something you adore.

stuff in syd