Annoying Facebook

I’m sorry, but in my opinion Facebook has just become a playground for the socially oblivious.

NO, I would not like to play Farmville. That’s why I haven’t accepted your last 50 invites you fucking genius.

Hey, I think the last time I spoke to you was 8 years ago at school (and that was by accident), but sure, I would LOVE to come to your party Melanie Dipshit.

X Status: Can’t believe I’m feeling like thisĀ šŸ˜¦

Y Comment: Like what babe?

X Comment: Don’t worry šŸ˜¦

ME: WHY?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS.

To me this just screams “I am actually fine, just an attention seeking whore.”

Facebook is just one big hot mess. Sometimes I feel as thoughĀ IĀ am bipolar just reading through the statuses. One says “I got into med school!” another says Ā “I hate my life” and another is just a quote from Einstein, Buddha or my favourite, Marilyn Monroe (everyone likes curves ooo!). I have found that over the past god knows how many years I have WASTED on Facebook I have come to realise that I have never read a status update that has been helpful or done something positive for me. The insensitive posts are the ones that make my eyes bleed. Someone is going on a trip, someone has just received a college acceptance letter, someone has just got a promotion, someone just wants to make it clear that their life is better than the living scum around them. We must be jealous and envious of them and we WISH we had their life and we WISH we were just THEM! When actually, your hair is the colour of shit. Fuck you.

But now creeps in the undercover brag…”Just got whistled at twice and saw someone checking out my ass. God I hate men” AKA “Here’s proof that I’m super sexy”. Okay Jenny Wenny, you just sail by in your ship of Super Sexy and we’ll just float here in our sea of Fuck Ugly.

And these people don’t just want to reach out to their close friends, they want to expand their audience toĀ the people they met 4 years ago and haven’t spoken to since, that their life is brill brill.

I don’t care if you graduated, I don’t care if you’re going to NYC on the 28th, I don’t care if your boyfriend treats you like a princess, I don’t care if you’re the editor of Playboy Magazine. Oh, and anĀ ultrasound photo of your unborn child is not what your face looks like. Please don’t set it as your profile picture.

bleeding eyes

Before you all tell me to stfu and just defriend all these annoying people, relax, I deleted my FB many, many months ago due to these reasons.

Is it fair to say that I hate Facebook?

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